The official website of Fascinating Womanhood, by author Helen Andelin.
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June 2006 Three Trouble Makers In your efforts to build the perfectly happy, completely wonderful, and passionately loving marriage, I must warn you of three common faults that work havoc to destroy it: Anger: One of the most common problems in marriage is anger. I silently sat in on the online classes this week and noticed that although the lesson was on Appreciation and Admiration, the subject mostly dwelt on was anger, and what to do about it. The first impulse is to control your tongue. Although this is better than an ugly temper it does not cure anger within. Especially should a woman who is continuously angry or has an uncontrollable temper make great effort to rid herself of this very destructive weakness. Here are some sure solution: |
The best cure for anger within is to develop our angelic character. As we grow to be more patient and forgiving, more long suffering and kind, we will just naturally drop our feelings of anger towards anyone. The most necessary character trait to help overcome anger is humility, which indicates an absence of pride and arrogance. When you are truly humble you will feel no just reason to criticize your husband because you are well aware of your own weaknesses. They may be different than your husband but in worthiness you are likely equal. When you are free from arrogance and pride you will not have a problem feeling self-righteous or superior to your husband. You are too aware of your own faults and limitations.
Self-Interest: George Washington made the comment that “one of the most common fault running throughout humanity, even with the great ones, is self-interest.” That would invite the faults of selfishness, self-centeredness and lack of charity. Men and women who do not overcome this natural tendency are really not candidates for marriage. Marriage, even a moderately happy one is a partnership, depending too much on togetherness, giving and sharing. The woman should take the lead on this, as in other things. She sets the example and inspires her family to follow that example.
Failure to fill your Roll. The third big trouble maker in marriage is a failure to fill your God given role. In spite of our many labor saving devices, many homes are in a state of disaster - a total lack of management, the cupboards bare, meals irregular or not on time and the house in a state of confusion. The home is an institution and should be run like a well organized hospital, church or school. We are raising human beings, entitled to the best the parents can offer. Anything less is not even acceptable. Determine to make a success of your career in the home, as the patient and understanding wife, excellent homemaker and devoted mother.
The man’s role is equally important as the guide, protector and provider. If the man doesn’t do his part, be a shining example and do yours anyway. When it comes to his leading the family, throw him the ball and let him fumble with it, and know that he may fumble many times before he learns to make wise decisions. If you want to do anything to help him, pray for him.