Website by Helen Andelin, author of Fascinating Womanhood. The picture below was taken last year, as she was carrying FW books in Japanese, Russian, Korean and French.
Announcement: An online Fascinating Womanhood class is scheduled to begin June 1. It will be taught by Lisa Estrada and held for eight weeks. Fee for the course is $35.00. We have room for only a few more students, since we close at 20 members of the class. You may enroll by sending us your name, address, phone#, email address and the $35.00 enrollment fee by credit card.
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May 2006 One Small Moment Several years ago I received a call from a young woman who had attended one of my very first Fascinating Womanhood classes in Fresno, California. She wanted to tell me how in "One Small Moment" I had turned her life around and sent it in an entirely new direction. She was nineteen years old at the time, a talented musician, planning a full time career for herself in music. But when I described the passionate, divine love a man can feel for a woman she knew in her heart that she wanted it much more than a career in music and was willing to "give everything" to attain it. She then spent her time and energy preparing for the most wonderful career in the world, that of being a loving wife, mother and homemaker, and the many years of happiness they have enjoyed since. |
In all of my experiences I find that women who are open minded can see the truth of Fascinating Womanhood in "one small moment." In a sudden flash of light they see a new way of thinking. They adopt this new way and a change takes place in their beliefs, values and priorities. Thus, there is a dramatic change in their behavior almost immediately, and for most women a permanent change. They have connected to something in the universe, something firm and unchanging. Understanding this new way is like an awakening. They don't need any further teaching or training. They are a new person, ready to teach others.
In your efforts to build this perfectly happy, completely wonderful and passionately loving marriage, I must warn you of common faults that work havoc to destroy it. They will get you off track and keep you from the wonderful rewards promised. So, beware of the following trouble makers:
Failure to Fill your Role
The first big trouble maker in marriage is the failure to fill your God given role as the wife, mother and homemaker. In spite of our many labor saving devices, many homes are in a state of disaster - displaying a total lack of management. The cupboards are bare or in disorder, meals irregular or not on time and the house in a state of confusion. The home is an institute of learning and should be run like a well organized hospital, church or school. We are raising human beings with divine destinies, entitled to the best the parents can offer. Anything less is not acceptable. Determine to make a success of your career in the home, as the patient, understanding wife, excellent homemaker and devoted mother.
The man's role is equally important as the guide, protector and provider. If the man does not do his part, be a shining example and do yours anyway. When it comes to his leading the family, throw him the ball and let him fumble with it, and know that he will fumble many times before he learns to make wise decisions. If you want to do anything to help him, pray for him.
Anger
I silently sat in on the Online Classes this week and noticed that although the lesson was on appreciation and admiration, the subject most dwelt on was the problem of anger and what to do about it. The conversation was especially focused on anger towards one's husband. When we are angry our first impulse may be to "control our tongue." Although this is better than an ugly temper it does not cure anger within. It may lessen it some but is not apt to cure. Especially should a woman who is continuously angry or has an uncontrolable temper make great effort to rid herself of this very destructive weakness. Here are some sure solutions:
The best cure for anger is to develop an angelic character. As we grow to be more patient and forgiving, more long suffering and kind, we just naturally drop our feelings of anger towards anyone. The most necessary character trait to overcome anger is humility. When you are truly humble you feel no just reason to be angry with your husband because you are well aware of your own weaknesses. Your weaknesses may be different from your husband's but in worthiness you are likely equal. And remember the admonition of Jesus Christ, "Judge not, that ye be not judged, for with that judgment you judge, you shall be judged."
Some people justify anger by saying that Christ was angry when he drove the money changers from the temple. This is a mistaken view. His emotions were not anger but "righteous indignation." For example, suppose you were to witness an innocent child being abused, or a little helpless animal beaten with a stick. Something indignant would arise within you that would send you to their immediate rescue. And you would be doing a heroic deed rather than displaying a fit of revenge.
Of course Childlikeness is another way of dealing with anger but you must have an angelic character for even that to be effective. That is why it is taught last. But even if that be the case and your husband is deserving of some kind of a reprimand, if you have a sharp edged tongue or a fierce look in your eye you will not be charming no matter how childlike you are.
Self-Interest
George Washington made the comment that "One of the most common faults running throughout humanity, even with the great ones is "self-interest." That would invite the faults of selfishness and self-centeredness. Women are especially guilty of self-interest. Their world is first themselves, then their children. It is hard for them to find time or mental focus for anyone or anything beyond it, not even for their husbands. But, you must drop your all consuming self-interest to attain a happy marriage. Women who do not overcome this natural tendency are not really candidates for marriage. Marriage is a partnership, depending on togetherness, giving and sharing.
Don't Injure his Feelings:
If you want a wonderful marriage, don't do or say anything that would make your husband feel emotionally troubled. A man's feelings are always at risk, especially his feelings of pride in his masculinity, the nobility of his character and his intellectual gifts. So, avoid any statement that would make him feel less of a man, even by implication. To be specific, don't do or say anything that would make him feel any of the following:
GUILTY, IGNORANT, INFERIOR, HUMILIATED, ANXIOUS, EMBARASSED, ASHAMED
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Recommended Movies
The following are two old movies that demonstrate how mixed up a woman's world can become when she pursues a career outside the home. Both are comedies but have a strong messages for all of us.
Woman of the Year with Kathryn Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. In this movie Kate and Tracy are competative newspaper reporters. They fall in love and then try to work marriage into their busy schedule. Kate is too busy to have a baby so they adopt a little boy. In spite of her efforts to keep her marriage on an even keel she makes things worse by being elected "Woman of the Year" which outshines Tracy and sends their marriage on the skids. Finally Kate leaves the newspaper world in an effort to save her marriage but is ridiculously funny as she tries to fit into cooking and running a household.
The Thrill of it All with Doris Day and James Garner. In this movie Doris Day plays a contented doctor's wife who gets an offer to do television commercials that pays lots of money! The results are hilarious yet so clearly demonstrate how the whole family was turned upside down by this decision. Thank you Shirley Hakeem for recommending this.
Fascinating Womanhood Phone #: 602-678-0117
