I worked at home full time as a registered child minder. My elder daughter was at school and the younger one still at home. Sam was working the night shift. Life was fine. Everything was ok, but sometimes I wondered if ok was enough.. We bought a computer, basically because we wanted our daughters to grow up with them and to become comfortable with using them. I had no idea how to use it so I read some books and asked for a lot of advice from friends. Gradually I saw the computer as a wonderful tool and a window to the world. I had discovered the internet!

“While Sam was working and the girls were in bed I surfed around meeting ladies who were also housewives. We chatted about anything and everything. Some were contented, others wondered where their youth had gone, some were ready to leave their husbands. Time went by. About a year ago I joined a new yahoo group and met some ladies who really changed my life. They were talking about writing love notes to their husbands, greeting them at the door, making their lives as comfortable as possible.

“I felt like I had stepped into a timewarp! Weren’t they living in an old Doris Day movie? Sure, I loved Sam but I was his equal. I was too busy working to run around after him. Besides, he didn’t romance me. Why should I bother? I had tasted romance when Sam and I were courting – romance never lasts, does it? Well, I’m a Christian and I spend my spare time reading books on the subject. I was searching for what God wanted me to do with my life. I studied women of the Bible and with the help of online Christian friends I slowly started to change.

“I read and reread Proverbs 31 over and over. Sure, I cleaned the house, changed diapers and cooked meals but I was doing them because I had to. I read about the Shakers and admired their “Hands to work, hearts to God” attitude. God had given me a husband, children and a home - - how was I showing my gratitude? As a Christian I wondered if my life would be better spent as a missionary or an evangelist. What service was I doing for God, being stuck at home with children? Then a kindly lady offered to mentor me one by one. We exchanged emails and I asked question after question. I soon realized I did have a ministry. I was an evangelist in my own home.

“I decided that from then on I was going to be the best wife and mother I could be. I asked Sam if I could stop work and he agreed. Although we had less money our life became richer. I read lots of different books on the subject and eventually I ordered a copy of Fascinating Womanhood. WOW! As I read I wondered, “could this really work for me?” It flew in the face of modern thinking. Would I be making myself a slave? Hadn’t feminists improved the daily life of modern women by making us fight for our rights? I wrestled with these thoughts inwardly. For centuries man had been hunter/gatherers and protectors for their families. They used to bow or lift their hats to ladies; they opened doors and considered women to be worthy of their protection and attention. Were today’s standards really an improvement on this? I didn’t think so.

“Upon completing the FW book I decided that I would change. The first day, instead of eating at the kitchen table I prepared our dining room table. I laid a fresh tablecloth, placed napkins and added a vase of flowers. When Sam saw it he asked who was coming to dinner! I told him that it was just for us and his eyes strayed to the calendar wondering if he had forgotten a birthday or our anniversary. I made it a habit to greet him at the door when he came home from work. I paid him compliments and encouraged him to relax while at home.

“All the while I had doubts running through my head – would he start taking all this for granted? My mother scoffed at me and said that I was living in the dark ages. My friends found it odd that I stopped moaning about Sam and started praising him. I decided that the only way to see if being a fascinating woman was a success was to watch how Sam reacted.

“For the first few days Sam had a look of mild confusion in his eyes. He accepted my ministrations but found them to be so different from our normal life. He later told me that he wondered if I had run up a hugh credit card debt and was trying to soften him up before I told him! My friends thought I might be having an affair and was trying to ease my feeling of guilt. Being an FW was hard at first, for breaking any bad habit is difficult but if I’m anything I’m stubborn. I kept rereading the book, asking the advice of my online friends and gritting my teeth!

“About a week after starting to live FW, Sam started phoning me from work “just to see how you are.” A week later while watching TV together he put his arm around my shoulder the way he did when we were courting! One morning (remember, he was working nights) he arrived home with a lovely bouquet of flowers for me! Now, instead of taking collegues and clients to a restaurant he brings them to our home. We hold hands while out walking now. On my birthday I no longer receive kitchen gadgets. I get underwear and perfume. In September he decided to stop working nights and to work more sociable hours purely so we could spend more time together. He takes me out on “dates” and treats me as if I were made of delicate china.

“As a girl I dreamed that a knight on a white horse would sweep me off my feet and it turns out that he exists! I was married to him all along and never even noticed. He had never been given the change to show me! It’s hard for a man to be a knight if he doesn’t have a willing damsel. I can see that living FW appears on the surface to be very difficult to live, and it seems that you, the woman, has to make all the effort. While this is initially true you can reap great rewards from your husband. Making that effort and stepping out in faith requires determination and nerves of steel. You may be scared that your husband will laugh at you or reject you. You may feel that your husband is not capable of being your knight, but until he is given the chance, how can he show you?

“Now that FW has become a way of life for me I find that I receive just as much love as I give. I have not become a slave but a cherished wife. I would invite any wife to take that chance, make an effort and make some changes. Isn’t your marriage worth it? “