When my husband decided to go back to his last love, I was so distraught that I found myself in tears on the kitchen floor. I prayed over and over for God to stop this, or to give me the strength to handle it. I pleaded with God, not because I deserved it but because it was best for all of us and I knew God was merciful.

I finally went to church early because I was tired of being home alone. On the way I decided to give this one to God. I knew this was what we are supposed to do but it’s not easy. I actually was happy thinking about it because I knew that God would fix it or work something out, and that if I was going to trust God with the situation I should not worry about it.

Upon arriving in town two hours early I stopped at the church lot to talk to a friend. Choir practice was that night so several people were there early. Then my dear husband called. He said he was sitting at the school across the street, where the guys went to play football between services, trying to remember why he was there. After finally determining he wasn’t joking I went there to meet him. Apparently he had fallen on his head and blacked out and now couldn’t remember anything. He actually asked me, “Do we go to church? Do I smoke? Did I get paid this week? Are we broke?

I was so anxious that we went home instead of to evening services. Later that night he was telling me more and what he remembers thinking. I wondered if he remembered her, but was so afraid to ask in case he did. He said that her name came to his mind but not her. He remembered where he stood before and how he felt but he didn’t feel that way now. He has regained all of his memory except her. He says that the feeling isn’t there, that he can say her name without anxiety. He said that before he was bitter about everything, but now he is so happy. It’s like someone just turned the switch off.

I know that it was God who worked this wonderful miracle, he literally just knocked it out of his head! My dear husband is even happier than I am, as he doesn’t have to cope with the mental torment of being torn between her and the obvious benefits of our marriage. Thanks to all of you wonderful women who prayed for us. It’s quite a story. I truly know it was from God. There is no doubt in my mind. From the very first minute I knew!

A few months go I decided to accept the emotional barrenness of my marriage and concentrate on being thankful for my children, two parents and an intact home. But instead of feeling peace about this decision I became anxious and depressed. I decided to try one more time to have a real marriage. I knew I would have to try something different, but what? Could I change? What should I change? Where should I start? I typed “wife” and “womanhood” on an internet search engine and found Fascinating Womanhood.

I was surprised to learn that the things I thought I was doing “right” were terribly “wrong.” I would struggle to carry heavy loads and do hard work around the house, and wondered why my husband was not appreciative. I saved money by cutting my own hair and wearing my old clothes and wondered why he was not proud of my thrift. I praised him often for his human qualities but rarely for the masculine ones, as I was sure he would find that course. I strove to be even tempered, mild mannered and modest and wondered why he was so bored with our relationship. I didn’t nag or even raise my voice but instead of peacefulness there was a dull, flat quality to our life together. Worst of all, I did not love him anymore as a husband. I cared about him and I loved him as my children’s father but not as a husband. He had fallen hard off from his pedestal and I did not trust him anymore. I tried to be loving but my efforts were all like slaving over a steak dinner for a vegetarian. I did not have any idea of what he wanted from me and I knew I wasn’t providing it.

Then the internet search engine lead me to Fascinating Womanhood. The book was great but the class made it accessible. Our teacher was excellent and the support of all the kind and generous classmates was a precious blessing. I will think of and pray for these women the rest of my life. Gradually, with encouragement from the teacher and the class I began to verbalize appreciation for his manly qualities; He bloomed! I began to look at him with empathy, my third eye and grew to understand him better. I stopped doing the masculine chores and he picked them right up. I started caring more about our home. It was always clean but now it is pretty and more pleasant. I realized that although I would never break up my children’s home, I had entertained a fantasy of divorce and escape, and these thoughts kept me from investing more time and energy into our family home. For years he has never invited friends or coworkers into our home; now we have friends coming to dinner every week.

I have begun to dress in a more feminine manner. I only owned to funeral-wedding guest dresses. I didn’t have any shoes with heels and never wore jewelry except for a wedding band and watch. Now I have some pretty clothes and a few things like earrings, light cosmetics and a manicure have improved my appearance greatly. And no more bathroom mirror do-it-yourself hair cuts!! Before FW my self-esteem was whittled down to sawdust. I now feel revitalized by the things I have learned and my small success. I feel like a part of myself that was dormant is waking up and I am a whole person again. I still have a long way to go but now I have a guide. I am confident that I can be a loving and beloved wife someday.

This class has helped me to grow and see things in myself that have long been hidden and put away. I read a letter I wrote to my dear husband when I was nineteen. I was a fascinating woman then but the hardness started creeping inn because I embraced some of the tenets of feminism. Also, being in contact with some very rough women in my life didn’t help. I have learned from this class to choose my friends, and for once in my life I have learned to stand up for myself in a gracious, dignified way. I have learned to respect myself and to see myself as not weak, as some of these women were wont to call me, but to see myself as a precious woman whose meakness is a strength, not a weakness.

The good thing about this is that my husband’s respect for me has increased tenfold, because of FW and the way I respond to bad treatment from others. He sees the contrast between me and the other ladies. And our husbands are beginning to see that indeed, we are women of inestimable value, of precious gold. If any of you are sitting on the fence about whether to take an online class or not, please, I promise you, this journey of self-discovery is incomparable! The class teaches you so much about the beauty of womanhood, that it will give you poise, a gracious, confident demeanor and above all, peace. Why peace? Because your highest ideals of personhood will be realized in learning the principles that have been so eclipsed by the feminist movement And above all, if you think the romance has died from your marriage, this class is for you. If you think all men are selfish, irresponsible boys, then this class is also for you. It is not a self-blame class, but a class for learning self-knowledge and self-respect.