By Helen Andelin, Author of Fascinating Womanhood
Frequently I am asked why I put childlikeness at the end of FW. This was not coincidental. There is an important reason for it being placed at the end. Childlikeness is like the frosting on the cake. It comes after the cake is baked. In other words there must be some groundwork laid, some fundamental principles lived before childlikeness can be really effective. Understanding men comes first - accepting your husband, looking to his better side and filling his emotional needs as a man. You need to have a good character, be a good homemaker and be truly feminine. This does not imply that you must be perfect before applying childlikeness, but you must reach a measure of success in building the foundation of the Angelic and the Human before you can be effective in expressing childlikeness. You simply cannot appear adorable to your husband if you hold grudges and neglect his most basic needs. But, even when this groundwork is laid, many women find it difficult to express anger in a childlike way. Here are suggestions that may help:
1) Courage: Remember, it takes courage to start acting a different way. There is always the fear that you will make a fool of yourself, feel humiliated or even be ridiculed. So, gather up your courage and dare to do it. Once you do it, it will be easier next time. And keep in mind the rewards in store: You will ease tension, become a happier person and build a better marriage.
2) Begin easy: There are endless methods of being childlike but if it is difficult for you begin with some easy ones, to break the ice: If your husband insults you, neglects you or is critical, lift your chin (just a little) and raise one eyebrow. A mysterious look in your eye will send him an intriguing message. Or, put your hands on you hips and open your eyes wide. Or extend your lower lip into a pout.
3) Practice: That which we persist in doing becomes easy. This is because our power to do has increased. When you do it again and again, it becomes second nature to you. The fact that childlikeness makes women happier is demonstrated in the following true experience sent to our office:
“I was taught as a child that anger was wrong and should never be expressed. Therefore it took some real changes in my attitude to accept anger as a normal, human response and learn to deal with it in a way that was not destructive. Like many women, it had been my pattern to suppress anger in a sullen silence until it finally exploded in a burst of temper completely out of proportion to the situation. Feelings of guilt and self-hate would follow these outbursts. I would condemn myself as a weak willed person who couldn’t keep her feelings under control. Then I would try harder to deny anger when I first recognized it. Consequently I was starting to experience some of the numbness that is described in FW. It took time for me to thaw out, develop healthier attitudes and find the courage to deal with anger in a childlike way.
“Finally, with some practice it became natural for me to express my feelings openly and directly, sticking to the issue without dragging in a lot of irrelevant factors. As I worked on my angelic side old feelings of bitterness and resentment just melted away. Now I keep current with my emotions. My bad temper has diminished as I have become more understanding and unselfish. The occasions that used to upset me are becoming less frequent. Acceptance has helped me to realize that others have a right to their opinions, even though they may not coincide with mine, and mature people can disagree without feeling threatened or violent.”
Assignment:
1. Childlikeness: Hang a picture of a child in your kitchen this month to remind yourself to be childlike, especially if you are angry.
2. Love Booklet: To see if you are truly having success living Fascinating Womanhood, refer to your Love Booklet. If there are nothing but blank pages lately, consider yourself delinquent. Read Chapter 1 again and set a goal of achievement. Determine to live FW so perfectly that you earn at least one loving entry in your Love Booklet this month.
For those who don’t know what a Love Booklet is: It is a small booklet, to record loving things your husband says or does for you, as you begin living the teachings of FW. You can make or buy one. It is a little booklet about 4 ” x 6” with blank pages, a cardboard cover and spiral bound.
The Fascinating Girl is now available from 1st Books Library, and will soon be available from thousands of retailers nationwide. To Order:
“I read Fascinating Womanhood many years ago. I confess that I threw it in the trash, up against the wall and in a dumpster before finally accepting the things being taught. I was raised a modern woman, finally succumbing to the truth that true womanhood gives me more freedom than I ever imagined. I want desperately to share this information with many women, for I feel we’ve been deceived by our times, therefore bringing about many unhappy marriages and broken homes.”
“Fascinating Womanhood has caused a change in me and in turn, a change in my husband. My husband and I are now in the ministry and I would like to share with others what someone shared with me so many years ago. Thank you so much for your dedication.”
Bulletin Board:
Sandy Schindler’s Class: An online Fascinating Womanhood class is currently available. The teacher is Sandra Schindler from Pennsylvania. She is a moderator for the Lady Friends group. She will be teaching within a special website set up for classes that include email lists, chat rooms and other features. You may participate in the class by posting an email to the list or by posting from the private website. There will be opportunity to order workbooks and scriptural reviews before the class begins. If you would like to take part in the next online course of Fascinating Womanhood, please send an email to Sandy at krafteeladeeii@aol.com or to Susan at lambie93@yahoo.com
Seeking a FW Class: I’m wondering if there are any FW classes in the Bucks or Montgomery county areas of Pennsylvania? Kathy Fetter july2morn@myexcel.com
The Fascinating Girl: This book will, hopefully, be available by the time you read this: It is being published by 1st Books Library. To order please call: 1-888-280-7715
Man of Steel and Velvet Website: Good News: A friend of the FW program and an admirer of my husband and his book, has volunteered to form a website based on the teachings of Man of Steel and Velvet. It is now online. If you want to reach this website, here is the address:
groups.yahoo.com/group/man_of_steel_and_velvet.
http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net
andelins@sofnet.com
February 2003
If you are a woman who holds troubled feelings within, or if you have an explosive temper, childlikeness may be the most important part of Fascinating Womanhood for you. Not only will it make your marriage happier, it will make you happier. For example, a man told me that the day his wife began expressing herself with childlikeness he marked a large X on his calendar because it was the day she became a happy person. Before this change in her she had kept her troubled feelings within and as a result had become sullen and miserable. He gave credit to FW for this great improvement in their lives.
Announcement:
Order online: www.1stbook.com/bookview/13151
Comments from Grateful Women:
