By Helen Andelin, Author of Fascinating Womanhood
In addition to the angelic and human qualities, the book contains a special section for the older single woman, serious about getting married. She may have already found the man of her dreams and only needs some coaching on how to avoid mistakes that may drive him away, or how to help him overcome his fears and take on the heavy responsibility of marriage.
The book is also for the divorcee who is tired of trying to make it on her own. She is lonely and needs a close companion, someone to make life worth living. She observes the many eligible bachelors throughout society, men who also need a close companion, a tender, feminine woman whom they can love devotedly, someone to fill their needs and make a home for them..
But she must first learn of her mistakes in her pervious marriage. She does not want to fail again. By reading The Fascinating Girl she will learn of her mistakes. She will learn to understand men, their characteristics and basic needs, and how to fill those needs so important to a man’s well being and happiness. This will prepare her for not only winning an eligible man, but all that is necessary to make him happy, to make her next marriage secure.
As many of you know, The Fascinating Girl is not a new book. It was first published in 1970 under the title, The Fascinating Girl and remained so until 1994 when I made some revisions and improvements and changed the name to The Secrets of Winning Men. It soon became obvious that changing the name was a mistake. Now it is in print under its original title and contains the best of both books. For information about how to order this book, click on Bookshelf.
When our first daughter Dixie married, she brought into our family an interesting young man, Bob Forsyth. He was in the preliminaries of his education to become a doctor of psychology, so he soon became interested and analytical of our Fascinating Womanhood program, especially the phenomenal success we were having remaking marriages. I especially remember the following comment he made to me: Did you know that Fascinating Womanhood follows one of the newest, most advanced methods in changing behavior? What method? I asked. Then Bob went on to explain, The former method in psychology was to improve one’s behavior one must first show what the person is doing to wrong. Now we find that a much more effective method is to engage the person in role playing.
I assured Bob that I stumbled onto this advanced method only by instinct and common sense. I knew nothing about advanced psychology. Nevertheless, role playing is one of the keys to our methods. We first teach correct principles and then encourage women to try them. In both the book and the classes women are given assignments. If they take living FW seriously they will diligently apply the assignments and when they do they attain remarkable success.
One reason I am stressing this here on the website is that many women have trouble playing their roles. They have never lived this way before and think it feels a little foreign to their nature. They feel they cannot change and become the angelic, tender, dependent, feminine and childlike woman described in FW and thus resist even trying.
Please let me assure you that this is not so. The qualities of the Ideal Woman are not foreign to any woman’s nature. Each woman may have a slightly different way of portraying them but they are there as sure as she was born a woman. We have found in our years of experience that when a woman feels these teachings do not fit them, if they will role play, the principles soon become second nature to them. Here are a few trips in helping you to role play:
First empty your mind of any notion that you cannot change. Then fill you mind with the new you. Try to picture just how you would like to be - charming, feminine, kind, sweet, angelic, patient and definitely a domestic goddess. Then believe in yourself. You are a divine woman, spiritual daughter of a God, with divine potential. The new you is what your Heavenly Father wants you to become. He made you and has faith in your. He will help you become what you ought to become. You may have many rare and beautiful qualities already. If so you need to work to retain them. Life has a tearing down effect on all of us so we have to diligently keep from slipping backwards.
Next follow the assignments in the book and lessons. Don’t just read them. Follow them. This is an active program, you have to do it, not just think it. Then do it again. If your husband does not respond, do it again and again. He cannot resist forever the wonderful woman you are becoming. If you have fallen far below the standards of FW, you will have to live it long enough for him to have confidence that the new you will last. If you keep this kind of role playing up long enough, it will become second nature to you.
Dear Mrs. Andelin. “My husband and children are all watching a Thanksgiving Day parade in our living room. My daughter and I are preparing the turkey dinner. I came to the internet to check some mail from my relatives. My husband and I will be married now going on twenty years this January. Reading and practicing the instructions you teach has been a great part in helping make this Thanksgiving a very happy one for me and my family. As a child and young woman looking forward to my future I used to wonder how I would feel twenty years into my marriage. I sure hoped that things would be good. It is a great blessing to feel that my husband loves me and I feel the same about him. You don’t know me at all, of course but having had your book around the home for almost 17 years, I feel I know you a little bit. It is nice to be able to send you a note. I would like to wish you and your family a happy Thanksgiving Day. Thank you sincerely.” D.
“I read FW only recently and it has helped me a great deal. I was an arch feminist and had quite a lot of hostility pent up inside so it was hard for me to believe in the FW concepts. In fact, I rebelled somewhat, even while I saw that they were indeed working. My husband and I are truly happy now that I have read your book and have come to understand the true meaning of FW. For along time we have tried unsuccessfully to diet, always talking about it and starting diets but never quite getting rid of the 10 pounds that kept me from looking my best. I feel a great dedication of spirit now and feel I have control to succeed. I can’t thank you enough for showing me the way.”
An online Fascinating Womanhood class is currently available. The teacher is Sandra Schindler from Pennsylvania. She is a moderator for the lady friends email group. She will be teaching within a special website. set up for classes that includes email lists, chatrooms and other features. You may participate in the class by posting an email to the list or by posting from the private website. There will be opportunity to order workbooks and scriptural reviews before the class begins. If you would like to take part in the next online course of Fascinating Womanhood, please send an email to Sandy at krafteeladeeii@aol.com or to Susan at lambie93@yalhoo.com.
Ruth Kaplan plus four other ladies would like a class in or near Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.
Contact: Ruth Kaplan, 9450 Poinciana Place, #l04, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida 33324.
I happened to be reading a book on Henry VIII and his wives and it struck me that two of them, Katherine or Aragon and Jane Seymour could be considered role models from an FW viewpoint. For about two decades of marriage Katherine of Aragon prided herself on
being “the most obedient wife in Christendom.” She was always submissive but when a matter of deep moral principle was at stake, she was stubborn as stone. And Jane Seymour, Henry’s third and favorite wife was known for her submissive disposition, extreme piety and childlike attributes. Henry asked to be buried next to her. Denise Noe
Assignment: Take a quality of FW you’re rather weak in and Role Play this month. As a visual reminder, buy a small plant and put it in your kitchen window to remind yourself of your need for personal growth as a woman. This month you will grow by role playing.
http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net
andelins@sofnet.com
December 2002
I am happy to announce that my book, The Fascinating Girl is now available. This is a book to single girls, teaching them the angelic and human qualities found in Fascinating Womanhood, qualities that are so essential to their personal development and happiness, and so attractive to men.
