By Helen Andelin, Author of Fascinating Womanhood
You may know that the book, The Secrets of Winning Men was completely sold out a few weeks ago and is now out-of-print. The good news is that it now being published under its original title, The Fascinating Girl. This new book contains the best of both books, including the original chapter on
Celestial Love from The Fascinating Girl, and the four chapters on femininity from the Secrets of Winning Men. It is the best we have produced on this subject. I think you will really like it and mothers will want to buy it for their teen age daughters.
The children of mothers who go to work full time before their child is nine months old have poorer mental and verbal development at age 3 than those with stay-at-home mothers, according to a recent report from Columbia University Research. The study results are reported in the July/August issue of The Journal of Child Development.
The team found that this effect was reduced for mothers who were more sensitive to their children, provided a better home environment and better child care. The best child care is to have one caregiver for one or two infants. The study also found that the negative effects of a full time working mother before the child is nine months old was greater for boys than for girls, and for children in married families than those with single mothers, although they were not sure what it was due to.
Rush Limbaugh, columnist and talk show host, takes a firm stand on the same study of Columbia University. Over the years liberalists have done everything they can with their willing accomplices the feminist, to get women out of the house and put government workers in charge of caring for their children. They have been driving the message home to women that they would amount to nothing if they stayed home and raised children. They proclaimed that it was letting down their sisterhood if they choose that route and it didn’t maximize their full potential. Well, according to a new study by Columbia University, children of mothers who work full time before the infants are nine months old have poorer mental and verbal development at age three than those with stay-at-home mothers.
What’s interesting about this study is that the authors of the study have decided to petition the government for an expansion of paid family leave to encompass as much as they can get of the child’s first year. They are going to use this research, which says kids do better with their mothers at home, as amo for their cause. Rush Limbaugh explains that the feminists are going to be fighting the authors of the survey because although they also want government expansion of paid family leave, they don’t want the mother to stay home, not at all. They want women out of the house, screwing up the culture and doing things that are against women’s natural tendencies, instincts and hormones.
Rush Limbaugh concludes with these remarks: All of this reminds me of the Time Magazine cover story from several years ago about how men and women are different. For that revelation to make the cover of Time means the editors had to be shocked, stunned and in total disbelief that men and women are actually different and that they’re born that way. It’s common sense, folks, just like this study about children doing better when they’re own mothers are taking care of them. It’s just common sense, but try to tell that to a liberal.
The Powerful Example of Obedience
As you know, the man as the leader of his wife is clearly taught in Fascinating Womanhood and supported by Bible scripture, Thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee, Geneses 3:16 and For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, Ephesians 5:23. This was an accepted way of life for thousands of years. Women may not have lived it perfectly but they accepted it. I remember when marriage vows included the wife’s promise to love, honor and obey.
This seems like rather hard doctrine for modern times but let me assure you, obedience to this principle is not without its intrinsic value, and disobedience can lead to far more serious consequences than most women realize, especially the example they set of disobedience, such as in the following Biblical account..
Vashti
The Book of Esther begins by telling of a great feast King Ahaseurus had for all of his princes, nobles and servants in the countries he ruled, Persia and Media.. During this celebration he showed his honored guests the riches of his glorious kingdom. It was quite a lavish affair with colorful wall hangings of white, green and purple, fastened with silver rings, on a pavement of red, white, blue and black marble.. They were served wine in vessels of gold, wine in abundance. Near the end of this gala occasion, which lasted 180 days, he invited the common people, both great and small. At the same time Queen Vashti made a feast for the women in the royal house.
On the seventh day of the feast, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded his seven chamberlains to bring Vashti the queen, with her royal crown upon her head, to show the princes and the people her beauty, for she was fair to look upon. But the queen refused to come at the king’s command, therefore the king was very wroth, and his anger burned in him.
So, what did the king do? He consulted with his wise men, asking them, What shall we do with queen Vashti, according to the law, because she hath not performed the commandment of king Ahasuerus? Then Memucan, one of the wise men answered: Vashti, the queen has not done wrong to the king only, but to all the princes and all the people that are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus, for this deed of the queen shall come abroad to all women. The king commanded Vashti the queen to be brought before him but she came not. Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media do. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath. The implication here is that if the women of the country followed the queen’s example, they would become rebellions too and at the same time lose respect for their husbands.
Then Memucan suggested a royal command that Vashti come no more before the king and that her royal estate be given to another, better than she. His advice pleased the king and his princes for he sent letters to every province and every people that every man should bear rule in his own house, and that it should be published according to the language of every people. As the story continues, Vashti was banished and Esther became the new queen. Such was the consequence of her disobedience.
Most of the time it is rather easy to support your husband in his plans and decisions. If you both have common sense you pretty much agree on most things and have no trouble setting rules of behavior for your children. But you won’t always agree. There are times you will disagree, and these times are hard for women. You always have a right to express yourself, to talk things over, and if you feel strongly about a matter you should speak out strongly. But in the end, if he is unyielding you should support his decision with a spirit of sweet submission, even if it goes against your better judgment. When you do, you set a wonderful example of submissive obedience to your children and your husband will view you as a gentle, feminine woman with something of angelic light. This will be a moment when it is more noble to lose the battle than to win. Your rewards will be great and your losses of no real consequence.
Now to make a good marriage, there is something more required of the wife than a spirit of sweet submission. There are times he may really need and want your input. He may be faced with a difficult decision but may not be entirely sure of himself. He may doubt his own judgment. In this case he may put on a good front before his wife and children. He may appear to be a firm and decisive leader but lack the confidence to go ahead. In this case it would be a mistake for you to turn your back on him and let him figure it out alone. You can serve him well by taking an interest in his situation, get him to talk about it and give him sound advice. If you have no advice to give him you can build up his confidence in his own judgment and let him know everything will turn out for the best. You will have to perceive the times he puts on a bold front but is unsure of himself and needs your advice. How this advice is best given is explained in The Man’s Role in Fascinating Womanhood.
And remember, if you live Fascinating Womanhood fully and consistently, your husband will not take unfair advantage of your sweet, submissive nature and will do everything he can to make your happy. It is a well known fact among men that a man will do anything, give anything, make any sacrifice necessary for a sincerely angelic and feminine woman.
Comments by Grateful Students
“I have read Fascinating Womanhood and referenced it many times over. I have found it to be the most life changing book I’ve ever read, outside of the Bible.”
“I just wanted to let you know that I have used the information you have written in your books, workbooks, newsletters and website all throughout my 35 year marriage. How very grateful I am for all you have written. Every book you have referred to I have read. You have broadened my thinking tremendously. It has been like having a beloved, more experienced sister to help and guide me all these years.”
“ Thank you so much for teaching a generation lost, when so many mothers went to work and we had no idea how to be a wife, must less a fascinating one. You truly are a Titus 2 woman.”
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“A lot of the older sitcoms such as I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched and Father Knows Best depict a lot of Fascinating Womanhood qualities. Perhaps women can learn from the female characters in these shows. Just a suggestion.” Torii C
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andelins@sofnet.com
September 2002
Kids Do Better When Mom Stays Home
