By Helen Andelin, Author of Fascinating Womanhood
This morning I watched a TV news broadcast in which an attractive woman newscaster reviewed the status of the war in the East. Such women appear regularly throughout our country. No doubt we all notice their attractive clothes and how meticulous they appear from their well-groomed hair to their shapely legs. Their speech is flawless, with the perfect pronunciation.
In that sense they are good role models, giving us higher standards of appearance, but as I watched I wondered how many women would be tempted to follow in their tracks. We have a choice, as the feminists have reminded us, and we have to agree that our right to choose what our life will be is precious, and the foundation of the American way of life.
What I want to emphasize here is that with choices come consequences. Some choices lead to great happiness while others lead to misery and despair. Some choices provide comfort and easy living while others require hard work and great responsibility. So, when you make a choice you should be prepared to accept the consequences. If you choose marriage and want to succeed in the highest sense, the consequences are a life of unselfish devotion, in which you put the needs of your mate ahead of your own. If you choose to bear children, and want them to turn out to be noble citizens, you must accept a life of great responsibility. So, to reach the pinnacle of success in your career in the home, you must give it your all.
Can you have both worlds - a career in the home and the working world too? Let's face it honestly. You would have to be a super woman to make a smashing success of your career in the home and your career outside the home too. You would be stretching too far, like a rubber band that finally breaks when it is stretched past the limit. You would wander between two worlds, not succeeding fully in either and bringing great frustration
on yourself. No matter how much fame and fortune waits you in a career outside the home, it is not worth it.
One the other hand, the joy and deep inner happiness that comes from a husband who highly esteems you and dearly loves you, and the soul satisfaction that comes from obedient, confident children who grow up to be valued citizens, is the greatest reward that can come to you daily and in the distant years to come.
Now there are some women who don't care at all about a career outside the home, but feel a need to work because of the extra money, and may feel an absolute necessity to work, even though they would much prefer to stay home and be a domestic goddess. I feel a special concern for such well-intended women, and would like to give suggestions to those who would like to quit.
In the first place I know that living on your husband's salary alone can be done, even in modern day America. I am a personal witness to many such situations. For example, none of my four daughters or four daughter-in-laws have ever worked outside the home since they have been married. Their husband's have been the sole providers. It has not been easy but they have done it and at the same time raised quite large families. Three of my children have seven children, one has nine, one daughter has two and the champion, Ginny is expecting her fourteenth child in September. The last child, number 13 is the healthiest of all. Did you know that if you keep having children through the years it is not high risk for those born late? It seems that keeping the womb active preserves its function. The danger comes in an inactive womb bearing a child late in life.
I will close this subject by saying: Living on one salary can be done, even in modern America. Quit work and trust in God. You may have to trim expenses and go without things you are used to, but it will be worth it. You will have more time to devote to being a wonderful wife and a devoted mother. You can give careful thought to your husband's needs, doing everything you can to understand him and make him happy. You will have time to play with your children, pushing them in a swing or digging in the dirt, making castles or planting a garden. Or just sit on a box and watch them play. Remember, you are not just raising children; you are building noble characters, men and women who will be a good influence in the world. You will be at home where you can observe them and seize the moment to teach them valuable lessons, lessons that develop values. You will be on hand to teach them the refinements and graces of life, things baby sitters never do. The career in the home is the greatest career in the world, the most important and the most soul satisfying. It far outweighs the glory of a career outside the home.
"Fascinating Womanhood and Man of Steel and Velvet have affected my life considerably. I shudder to think of how I would act, had I never read them. Thank you for spending so much time sharing these wonderful teachings with us ignorant ladies out there who would be so unhappy without you."
"Every word in FW is like rain falling on parched earth. Where else is information on this topic available?"
"FW is really wonderful. I've purchased many copies and given them away. Please let me know if Helen Andelin ever comes to Houston for a seminar and I will personally be her PR person. My husband is a plastic surgeon and he changes people a lot but not as effectively as this book does."
"Do any of you know of a class near New Hampton, Missouri?" If so, please contact me."
Notice: The Secrets of Winning Men is sold out and will be out-of-print for a while. This is only temporary. It will be in print again, probably in the fall, but under its original title, The Fascinating Girl.
http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net
andelins@sofnet.com
May 2002
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