Brief review: To understand men we must gain an insight into their needs, feelings and nature. This insight leads us to certain relationship rules, which are: Accept him, appreciate him, admire him, make him number one, honor him as the guide, protector and provider, let him manage the money, don't wound his masculine pride and be sympathetic and understanding of his duties, nature and problems.

These rules are common knowledge to those who are familiar with the teachings of F.W. and yet we all need to be reminded again and again of the hazards in store for us when we ignore these rules and the heavenly rewards awaiting us when we apply them. It's as different as black and white. Just this week I received a letter from one of our Internet readers which is a vivid example:

"I just want you to know that I will be forever grateful to you for Fascinating Womanhood. Twenty five years ago I was going through a divorce after 10 years of misery:

"In my marriage I had to have my way at all times. I mocked my husband in public, was sarcastic and belittled him. It was almost as if I wanted to see how much abuse he could take. If he was late when I picked him up from work I would respond by driving 90 mph on the way home and run red lights because I was so full of rage at missing a favorite TV program.

"When we had been married only a few years my entire family moved in with us. They were much more important to me than he was. I spent money on my siblings and parents, drove them around, got up at 3:00 am to pick up my father from some drunken wandering . . . whatever they wanted it was my priority. On a scale of one to ten my husband was number 11.

"One day while I was at work he moved out, rented an apartment and got a non-published number so I could not find him. I called him at his work, threatening suicide and he hung up. I cried uncontrollably during my working hours. My boss threatened to fire me if I didn't straighten up.

"One day a friend at work asked me if it ever crossed my mind that I might take any of the blame for the problems and I was so worn down I finally admitted I did. I had insisted I was blameless for months. She handed me Fascinating Womanhood.

"That night I stayed up all night to read the entire book. . . It was so amazing to see how I had done EVERYTHING the exact opposite in dealing with men my whole life: It opened my eyes as to why I had always been fighting and miserable in every relationship. I was like that old spiritual song we used to sing in church, 'I was blind, but now I see.' I vowed to try a new way. I did attempt to use the suggestions with my husband before he filed for divorce, but it was too late. He married someone else.

"I married again and we have had 18 years of happiness, thanks to F.W.! Recently I suggested the book to a friend. She told me, 'I hate this! I want to throw up when I read this stuff.' I suggested she simply TRY something from the book to prove it. She did and kept at it and she has totally changed her relationship with her husband AND with her mother-in-law!

"She told her therapist about it. The therapist started a class for several of her clients. A few other women from a church came also. In the class one women, through tears, related a terrible and sad story: She had been living in what she described as 'absolute HELL' for over 20 years. After 3 weeks she came to class to report that her husband is nice to her and she feels like a newlywed! We all sat staring at her in disbelief. Each week she has more to report and its ALL WONDERFUL! All she did was follow along and walk through the instructions. She said she felt like a terrible phony at first but her life is so happy she just glows.

"For 25 years I have attempted to get women to read Fascinating Womanhood. Every woman should read it and judge for themselves, but so many are hard-headed! Thank you for being there for us all this time. I love the Internet newsletter and the success stories you post. God bless you."

California

Now, I want to make several pertinent comments: About the lady in the class who, when applying the principles felt terribly phony at first. You may be interested to know that one of the most advanced methods in applied psychology is this:

When people are suffering distressing problems due to their own poor behavior the method used for improvement is to get them to role play. The therapist simply outlines a program for them to behave in a different way. This obviously strikes them as phoney. They don't feel like themselves. But if they keep doing it over and over again, each time experiencing rewards, they become accustomed to the new behavior and adopt it as their own.

A doctor of psychology explained to me that this is exactly what happens when a woman who has done everything wrong in marriage begins to live Fascinating Womanhood. At first she is role playing, then she become accustomed to behaving in this way, then she adopts it as a permanent thing.

Another comment: Some of these case histories sound unbelievable! The improvement in marriage is so dramatic you wonder if the person is exaggerating. I want to assure you that these case histories are true. These dramatic improvements in marriage are real and can be experienced by those who apply the teachings.

In my opinion, the reason for the sudden dramatic change is that Fascinating Womanhood changes a woman's way of thinking. She never looks at things the same way again. She has a new and broader view, a clearer vision of what is expected of her and what she can expect in return.

But, you have to keep at it! You can't slacken and expect rewards. One of the purposes of this Internet Journal is to remind you of Fascinating Womanhood and support you in living it. But, as you receive I hope you will learn to give. Share these teachings with others and tell them about this Internet Journal.

This may sound a little silly but try it: Place thirty or more beans in a small jar. Place the jar of beans and an empty jar in your kitchen cupboard. When you apply one of the rules of understanding men, take a bean from the full jar and place in the empty jar. Fill your empty jar by May 1 or sooner!!

From A Grateful Reader:

"This shouldn't be kept a secret! It should be in every church on Prince Edward Island and for every woman."

Prince Edward Island, Canada.

Interest in South Africa:

We have had frequent inquiries as to where to buy Fascinating Womanhood in South Africa. A likely place to get the book is from a chain of book stores called Estoril. You may also try CNA (Central News Agency), especially the larger branches. There are hundreds of CNA book stores country wide. If other book stores would like to stock the book they can get it from a large distributor called Trans South Africa.

We have also had inquires about where to get the book in England, especially London. We are working on this. If any of you in England know of a book store who carries it, or is willing to, please let us know.

Chat Group & Pen Pals:

We are still working on the Chat Group. Watch for it. Also, here is a letter from someone in Australia who would like a pen pal:

"I just want to say how much I have loved your book and reading your web site. It really has been a 'God Send' to me. I live in Australia and I'm looking forward to the Chat sessions. Also, I would love a pen friend.

    Regards,

    Email: Michelle.James@oa.hydro.com.au